(no subject)

[readgenerate]

open post for the weirdo, come at me, scrublords

Comments

One bandaged disaster coming up

[bandagedheart]

[Dazai, being who he is, is always aware of news concerning newly spotted ability users that have yet to be recruited into any organization. He also knows their basic information and is able to sniff out locations based on previously gathered intel to try tracking them down and assessing whether they’re a potential threat or possible ally to the ADA.

Which leads him to a cozy little cafe centered right in the middle of Yokohama, which, of course, is one he’s familiar with. What he’s not so familiar with is the white-haired young man sitting at one of the tables near a window, but that’s definitely about to change as he slides into the seat across from him with the fakest sweet smile ever.]

Hello there! I couldn’t help but notice you sitting all alone~

[readgenerate]

[Do you ever get the feeling you're being watched?

Stephen gets that feeling constantly since The Derry Incident, in which he accidentally inspired so many people to do so much damage to the city and one another that - well, not only did he have to leave Maine for the indefinite future, but he finds himself being recognized in the most unexpected places. Yokohama's not really an unexpected place and he knows that, as he's here to meet with some massive ability-user crime syndicate, but he still doesn't expect a smooth cafe approach out of nowhere.

It's no problem. The guy's friendly, handsome, has a dazzling smile. Stranger people have approached Stephen since he left the US.]

Ah - I probably do stand out, don't I? It's hard to meet people in a new city, so I keep putting myself in big groups of them and just... waiting. [He grins sheepishly.] Even still, I'm surprised it worked...

[bandagedheart]

Oh, just a bit, but standing out isn’t always a bad thing, hm?

[Dazai flags down a waitress and orders himself a plain black coffee and a croissant. So classy.]

Feel free to order something else if you’d like. It’s on me! I do like to make a good first impression, after all!

[Dazai may seem like he’s being sociable, but in reality he’s waiting and watching to try and get a feel for this new arrival.]

New city? Where are you from, then? Maybe I’ve been there!

[readgenerate]

[Regardless of the man's motives - and Stephen's not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, but he's now sure there must be some ulterior motive - it's nice to have company. Especially company that's going so far out of his way to make Stephen feel comfortable and welcomed. He can worry about what the man might want later.]

I guess it's not! Er, I'll have... a piece of apple pie, warmed up. [Once the waitress is gone, Stephen turns his full attention to his new friend and realizes something instantly.]

Didn't we miss the part where we introduce ourselves?

[bandagedheart]

Ah! Silly me! I got carried away!

[No he didn’t, he just doesn’t make a habit of introducing himself when meeting people. Call it a leftover habit from the Mafia.]

I’m Dazai Osamu, if you’re used to being introduced in the traditional Western way.

[Yeah, he already knows the basic info about this guy, but as always he has to keep up the charade of the part he’s been chosen to play until it’s no longer necessary.]

And you? I could guess, if you want!

[readgenerate]

Dazai Osamu... does that mean I call you Dazai-san or Osamu-san? I can't keep it all straight, and people get offended so easily here.

[He gives a cranky little huff, but quickly bounces back to a better mood at Dazai's offer. Now the fun really begins! No one would try to guess a total stranger's name for the heck of it, so he must know something.]

Yeah, sure, try to guess! I won't get mad if you screw it up somehow.

[bandagedheart]

Please, just Dazai is fine.

[His grin takes on a bit of a sharper edge. Clearly this man is onto him. Perfect. It would be too easy if things went smoothly.]

Hmm. How about...Richard?

[readgenerate]

Just Dazai. Alright.

[With that sorted out, Stephen relaxes into the game with a mischievous smile playing on his lips. Most people who know of him can't wait to launch into questions or recriminations - thank goodness this Dazai Osamu knows how to have fun!]

Nope! Are we doing this three strikes or twenty questions style? And do you want any hints?

[bandagedheart]

Let’s do three strikes. Winner gets to ask one question that the other must answer truthfully.

[This is a loaded game, and Dazai has a feeling that his guest knows it.]

Mmmmmmmm...how about...

[He taps his chin thoughtfully, as if he really has to put much thought into his bullshit answer.]

Anthony?

[readgenerate]

[Incredibly loaded. This is where anyone with good sense would balk, but...

... boy, does Stephen ever not qualify. He needs to know where this is going, the suspense is killing him!]

You're just choosing the most American names you can think of, aren't you? Ha, that's two strikes.

[bandagedheart]

Ah, you’re onto me, I see! I’ll have to get better at guessing!

[Now he has two options: guess right and risk revealing that he knew all along, or guess wrong and see what happens.]

Hm...how about...David?

[Might as well prolong the fun.]

[readgenerate]

[He was wrong!

This is where Stephen reveals that he's not some cunning strategist - he claps his hands together in complete glee, convinced that Dazai actually mistook him for someone else and now has to eat crow as a result. What a perfect surprise ending.]

Yoooooou're out! So I get to ask you whatever I want, huh... and you have to tell the truth... [There's only one thing Stephen can know about a stranger with absolute certainty, so of course he asks:] What's your deepest, darkest fear?

[bandagedheart]

Oh my. I really have gotten rusty at the whole guessing game thing.

[Dazai sighs, looking defeated, when in reality he’s glad that things have progressed this way.

That question has the corners of his mouth turning up in a wicked smirk.]

My worst fear? I think I’d have to say...

[The hollowness inside? Being unable to fulfill his promise to Odasaku? Losing everything time and again?]

Myself.

[beneathmoonlight]

[Having been given Stephen’s number by Dazai, Atsushi is now stuck with the task of “making contact and being persuasive to try and convince him to join the ADA””...

What?? Why him?? Atsushi is so inept at this kinda thing!! Why isn’t Dazai doing this?? He’s the silver-tongued devil!!

But he can’t disappoint Dazai, either.

...]

Um, is this Stephen-san?

[readgenerate]

Hahahahaha my name sounds so funny like that!!!

Yeah it's Stephen-san, did you get my # from Dazai?

[beneathmoonlight]

Ah, should I call you something else?

Yes, I did! He told me a bit about you.

You’re looking to join an organization, right?

[readgenerate]

Stephen's fine, we don't use anything like that where I'm from.

But Dazai didn't even tell me your name. He's bad at names, huh.

[beneathmoonlight]

[Wow Dazai, rude...]

Okay! You’re from the United States, right?

Oh, I’m Atsushi Nakajima! Nice to meet you!

[readgenerate]

Yeah, you ever heard of Maine? Or New England? It's way up in the northeast corner.

Same! You're gonna have to tell me how to say Atsushi out loud tho or I'll get it wrong for sure.

[beneathmoonlight]

I have, actually! I’ve read a few books and looked at a few maps of the United States, so!

Oh, I can do that! Don’t worry!

Did Dazai-san tell you anything about me? Not my name, I guess, but...

[readgenerate]

That's where I'm from! A town called Castle Rock.

He just said you're his protege and you might have a unique way to talk me into joining the ADA instead of the mafia. I still don't think the ADA's gonna be for me but I'll hear you out.

And I hope we can be friends even if I choose the mafia... I hardly know anyone here.

[beneathmoonlight]

He said that...?

I’d like to be friends too. I don’t think everyone in the Mafia is bad, after all.

Um. Well. I suppose it’s only fair that I tell you about my ability, since Dazai-san told me about yours. If you don’t mind, that is.

[readgenerate]

Soon as I said it wasn't for me, he sent me to you for convincing. You must be a pretty impressive guy.

Oooooh yeah, what can you do??

[beneathmoonlight]

[Or Dazai is just lazy.]

I can change my limbs to a tiger’s. Oh, and I can summon a tail, too.

I can change into the full tiger too, but I don’t have full control over it in that state.

[readgenerate]

NO WAY

SERIOUSLY????